So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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