I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
