Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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