y did u give ur computer a hand job?
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
