I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize
