Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
