He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
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