I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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