ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
