I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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