We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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