cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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