remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
