Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
