i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize
