is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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