He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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