and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
