margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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