Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Pants are for mortals
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
