I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
