Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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