I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
