You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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