Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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