I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
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