just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
