I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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