Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
We are two peas in an std pod
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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