The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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