you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
would you consider him our boss?
then technically i slept with our boss
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
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bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
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its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.