mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
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i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
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That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.