I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?