his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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