I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?