She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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