I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
false alarm. still invincible.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
