I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
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