Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
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I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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