Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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