Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize