You can't special order awesome
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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