there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
