It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
