Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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