some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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