Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
