She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
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Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
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I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?