my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.