Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
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What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
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And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO