Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing