I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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