why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
