Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Barsexuality is the new black.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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