Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
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