I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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