Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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