hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
