I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
it glows. i had to have it.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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