Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Randomize
