How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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