using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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