What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
