I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
