this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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