Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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