i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
