btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
