I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
