i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
you inspire me to be a worse person
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
