I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
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I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
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I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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